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About Deviant Core Member Zombie Slayer ExtraordinaireMale/Unknown Group :iconrolita-fool-candy: Rolita-Fool-Candy
 
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Cover art for Daybreak Legends by bayardwu Cover art for Daybreak Legends :iconbayardwu:bayardwu 1,473 40 Two skies by Ellysiumn Two skies :iconellysiumn:Ellysiumn 560 20 Asuka by SophieValentineCos Asuka :iconsophievalentinecos:SophieValentineCos 16 1 Juliet Starling by SophieValentineCos Juliet Starling :iconsophievalentinecos:SophieValentineCos 14 1 Celestial Wolf by Sabinzie Celestial Wolf :iconsabinzie:Sabinzie 395 76 Little Scorpion by Sabinzie Little Scorpion :iconsabinzie:Sabinzie 289 10 Capitola Beach by chateaugrief Capitola Beach :iconchateaugrief:chateaugrief 312 28 Black moon by DaisanART Black moon :icondaisanart:DaisanART 58 0 be prepared by GekkoLilly be prepared :icongekkolilly:GekkoLilly 12 1 Arwen by larienne Arwen :iconlarienne:larienne 623 11 Sunset over Canal Rocks, Western Australia by paulmp Sunset over Canal Rocks, Western Australia :iconpaulmp:paulmp 104 2 Cable by TARGETE Cable :icontargete:TARGETE 113 7 Queen of Undeath by DreadJim Queen of Undeath :icondreadjim:DreadJim 110 2 Elegant: 128. by Agnes-z-Garbledville Elegant: 128. :iconagnes-z-garbledville:Agnes-z-Garbledville 10 0 Gothic: 172. by Agnes-z-Garbledville Gothic: 172. :iconagnes-z-garbledville:Agnes-z-Garbledville 6 0 Gothic: 173. by Agnes-z-Garbledville Gothic: 173. :iconagnes-z-garbledville:Agnes-z-Garbledville 6 0

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  • Listening to: Firelink Shrine - Dark Souls 3 OST
  • Reading: This journal
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Killing Floor 2
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water
I have been finding a lot of my old stuff from the past that I see as artifacts and tell a story of both good and bad times. I sometimes look at it and instantly remember those times. Whether it was an old job or high school, some of it I miss while others I want to stay lost. I have dreams from time to time about my past. One of them is pretty weird. It's me walking around the neighborhood I grew up in and finding my old house. No one is around and the sky is pitch black with no moon or stars to illuminate over me. I walk to my house and see a bunch of junk everywhere as if it has been ransacked. There are construction lights and other types of lights such as lanterns on the ground as my only light source in this place. I don't remember anything more than that, because I would wake up and only remember that. I pass by that same house to this day, because my cousin and I grew up on that street and he still lives there and very little has changed. Not really sure who lives in my childhood home, but sometimes, I wish I could ask if I can take a look inside my old house to see how it is without them thinking I'm some weirdo.


So many things have been triggering my past lately. Sometimes, it's a movie, a person, a piece of clothing or even a simple object. Just the other day, I was cleaning my closet and reorganizing some stuff in it and I came across a bunch of my old uniforms from my past jobs. I smiled and laughed as I glanced at each one of them and remembered those times. Like my very first job working at a movie theater and always coming home smelling like fresh popcorn with oil stains from the popcorn machine on my clothes. I also remember my last job which was working at a restaurant wearing full black and an apron they gave me to keep my order sheets, change and pen in. I believe just about everything around me has been setting off all these memories and I look back at them and wonder what would've happened if I had stayed in those places and being around those same people.  


The people I have met over the years felt more like people you come across in a fairy tale and then never see them again. You come by them, because you happen to stumble upon their village or meet during your travels. I began having dreams of these people from my past and places I have been to and you know what? Just like the dream I had about my old neighborhood and home, everything around me is pitch black with some small lanterns as my only light source once again. I was trying to figure out what it meant and I think I know now thanks to a special game that I keep talking about (And definitely one of my favorites)


I recently played Dark Souls 3 and there's an area in the game where there are candles laying on the ground in different areas and when you are away from it, you are surrounded by a light aura to help guide you through the darkness. The sky is completely black and the area is also very familiar. When I discovered this area, I realized it's the area at the very beginning of the game where you can see everything from the trees to enemies that are lurking about and ready to attack. You eventually go to what I call “The safe haven” also known as “Firelink Shrine” where the lords of cinder's thrones are as well as some friends and a bonfire in the middle of the room to travel to different areas in the game as well as save your game and a few other things. In the dark world version, no one is there except an old lady sitting in the same spot she is sitting in the alternate day world. If you visit her again in the alternate day world, she says “You look familiar..”  


The place is so dark.. so depressing.. so lonely.. and that's when it reminded me of my dreams. I feel like my dreams are reminding me of my past in the “dark world” version while my memories when I am not asleep are the ones I remember as clear as day. I like to believe that the dark world dreams I am having represent memories I have abandoned and thus, they lie in ruins whenever I revisit them. The ones I remember when I am conscious are the ones that I can replay like a set of home movies on a projector. I will admit that I miss a lot of it, but not everything. The people I have met over the years were part of those reasons, but I have not heard from them since. Why? Well, I guess because they became ghosts and weren't in my life for that long and that's okay. I have moved on from them now and even though I still think about those good old days, I know that they won't come back, because everyone changes and they move on just like I have. I met such wonderful friends that are still in my life now and they have stuck by me since the beginning and through my moments of weaknesses and for that, I am forever grateful.  


If you listen to this beautiful track, you will take away so much from it. I personally see myself in front of a bonfire that is lit and surrounded by all of the people that made it come to life with our friendships and experiences in a specific area. When the fire starts to flicker and become smaller, I see those friends disappearing and eventually it starts to burn out and everything becomes black with only small lights around me as I see the smoke coming from the bonfire and what is left of my memories of those people and experiences and I begin to walk off into the darkness to a new source of light in the distance that catches my attention. I chuckle as it waits for me and I start to look forward to a new experience with new people. There are also some friends that did not disappear, but instead were brought over to this new area of light and that to me represents an undying flame. One that I cherish deeply and will always be with me no matter what happens.  


www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ul_ZRo…



I love everything about this video. From the image to the beautiful track itself, because I can compare it to my life in just the smallest details. Around 2:15 to the end of this OST, it's as if time is slowly running out and the bonfire of memories starts to get smaller and by the end of the track, the fire slowly fades away. The picture itself makes me think about myself letting go of the memories I have had as there is nothing left but ash and they are slipping away from my hand and in the background, there is light but for how long? Especially because everything is in ruins and once the darkness takes over and I see that small light guiding me to it, that's when I depart for that new experience and people that will be there and everything I left behind will fade to darkness and will become part of my dark world dreams that I visit once in a while to show me what was once so beautiful is nothing but darkness and loneliness now.


When I think about all of this, I get these mixed feelings from loneliness (Not in a bad way) to happiness. It's as if I am there again reliving those fun times and then when I come back to reality, all of it is gone and the only things that remind me of them are simple memories I have kept. I guess what I am trying to get at is the reason I believe this is happening is because there are two parts of me that are reminding me in two different ways about my past. One side feels that I should just forget about it, because there's nothing left now and continue living the way I have been while the other side thinks I should hold on to them due to their significance and how it helped create who I am. I personally think both are important in their own ways, but I have changed just like so many people. The sad but honest truth is that nothing ever stays the same and even though I wish for some of those good old days to come back at times, I personally believe that change itself is extraordinary and makes way for newer experiences in our lives that creates curiosity and it will eventually lead to other forms of happiness and newer memories that we never experienced before. I get excited and continue to look forward to it even if the bonfire of memories will eventually burn out and things fade to black just like in my dark world dreams.


www.deviantart.com/art/Dark-So…

  • Listening to: But It's Better If You Do - Panic! At The Disco
  • Reading: This journal
  • Watching: Random YouTube Videos
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water
Back in 2005, everyone was getting into social media with a website that was all the rage. Yes, I am referring to MySpace for those of you who remember that and had it. I know that “Friendster” was quite popular before people started to get into MySpace and at first, I didn't know why these early social media sites were popular until I got one. I was getting on it like crazy after I became addicted to it. A bunch of people at school were asking who had it and what was the username we were under and sending friend requests. It was definitely an interesting time to have a MySpace and talk with friends as well as meet other people from different places of the world. Let's fast forward to 2009. A friend of mine told me about Facebook and I didn't think too much of it and she told me I should make one. After being reluctant, I made an account. At first, I wasn't really getting on it that much, because I was still getting on MySpace, but that started to change.


Later on that year, I started to see a lot of people deleting their accounts on MySpace or abandoning them in favor of Facebook. I myself became one of those people when I abandoned my account (I actually found it again not that long ago and decided to finally delete it after not going on it for almost a decade) and became part of the Facebook frenzy. Over the years, other social media sites and apps have become popular such as Twitter and Instagram. At this point, I started to wonder if I should bother making those, because I seriously didn't want to and did not find a major purpose to use them, because Facebook felt like enough. Sure, they all have their differences and similarities, but I felt like Twitter was more for people to follow their favorite celebrities, teams and whatever else they had an interest in following and Instagram to me was selfie central. So I asked myself why I should make them. The same friend that got me to make a Facebook, made an Instagram for me and I literally only got on that thing twice. It was completely blank for many years, because I just could not find myself getting into it and I wasn't much of a picture taker.


Eventually, I created an account here on Deviantart and my goodness did it feel different, but in a very good way. I wasn't really doing much when I made it (A different friend got me to make it lol) and at first, it was me getting on to favorite art. I wasn't really sure if that's all I would do and then slowly, but surely, things started to change. I began to write journals and meet wonderful artists and see such an endless amount of creativity and imagination in their artwork. I also did not know anyone else who had a Deviantart account other than my friend that had me make one. In no time, I started to meet people from different areas of the world and learn more about their culture and they would share pictures of where they live. I was awestruck by it all. It was crazy to think that a small piece of art can create such huge relationships between two strangers and eventually a bond as if you had known the person since you were a kid.


I know this sounds weird to say, but I always felt “special” being on here. Most websites are not like DA at all and it's crazy to think that DA has been around for almost 20 years now. I also feel like a ghost on here like no one knows who I am and I don't have to worry about family members finding me and some other people I don't want searching for me. I know that DA does have it's flaws though. I haven't been on here for a very long time like some people have, but I have been on it long enough to know that most people are trying to turn it into a bunch of different things. Yes, I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that. People try to turn it into a dating site, a role playing site, a fetish site to indulge in fantasies of vore, feet and furries and pretty much anything sexual and I can't forget a major one.. a copy cat of the social media sites we are all familiar with.  


I have seen how a lot of social media sites are turning into things that we don't expect them to turn into. I slowly started to see Facebook turn into gossip and drama central where I would hear people say things in person such as “Did you see what they put on their Facebook post?” and then it becomes the talk of the town among the people that know that person. Whether it's good, bad, shocking, it's become this site where people post things about their lives and even though there's nothing wrong with that, I feel like there will always be mixed reactions of jealousy, hate, happiness and the list goes on. I don't know about you, but I personally don't like people all up in my business. If I want to share something with people I know, then I will, but I'm not going to post every single day about something that happened in my life, wait for a message from someone or post an endless amount of memes, because I'm so bored that I have nothing better to do. I'm not trying to say that these people are losers. More so that they are easily brainwashed by feeling the “need” to be on Facebook all the time and do whatever it is that they do on there for hours and hours.


When I first got Instagram, I wasn't really too interested in it. After a few friends told me to retrieve my account, I did and I started to appreciate the little things about it like seeing beautiful sights in Europe or somewhere else in the world and watching mini video clips in their stories that made me go “Wow.. I really need to travel there in the future!” Unfortunately, I feel like Instagram is becoming more about self and cross promotion now. What I mean by that is that there are people I see that make an Instagram to have people sign up for their Patreon. Most often than not, it's nude pictures and videos as well as gaining access to a premium Snapchat to see more action. I don't judge anyone of course. I know that people have a passion for things like this and are not ashamed by it or they need money to survive. I understand all of that. Again, it's one of those social media apps that is being used for something else than what it was once used for. The majority of these sites and apps like to make updates with new features and whatnot, but it seems like the features start to be used for something completely different as I mentioned before. Some just really want the attention and will post the same picture in their story that they posted in their feed to have people show it some love.


I don't think anyone is bad for doing this, but I wish people would think more about the repercussions. Once something is up on the internet, it's there for life. It will never go away, because you have a crap ton of people saving it and uploading it somewhere else. Not everyone does this, because I know some people like to talk with their fans that buy prints and nudes, but there are some that use live chats that bait people into donating money to them just because they love it and can easily make money from people who can't control their urges. But hey! Not my money or my decision, but I'm sure there are better ways to invest into something and not just for disposable pleasure.  


Snapchat is very unique, but it's like a combination of the other social media sites and apps I've talked about and used for similar purposes. I learned about a new app called “Vero” a while back and one thing that caught my interest about it was the motto of it, which is “Less social media, more about you” and that was pretty interesting to me so I checked it out. It has some really different things for sure, but then I started to see people take screenshots of their profile picture and name and have their audience follow them on there and it made me laugh a bit, because I was like “Well, that didn't last long..” lol. I personally have these different apps and sites to keep in touch with a lot of close friends and I get that not everyone is fond of certain ones due to past experiences with it or they just don't feel the need to have so many. So is this what social media will become? A beacon that will lead people to follow others because of their sexual urges, to gossip and create drama and ultimately turn it into their idea of what it should be used for? Or perhaps this will all change in the future? I wouldn't hold my breath if you chose the latter, but anything is possible so I guess we will have to wait and see for ourselves.  



  • Listening to: Let Go - Hollywood Undead
  • Reading: This journal
  • Watching: Crowbcat YouTube Videos
  • Playing: Bloodborne
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water
Relationships have become something that people feel is important to have in their lives. At one point in my life, I was like that too. I used to crush over girls very easily and wanted them to be my girlfriend and let me tell you, my success with that was very low (Lol) You might be going “Aww!” or “Poor guy.. I'm sure there's someone out there for you!” Hahaha! Please forgive me for laughing, but I think it's funny and I don't ever want people to feel sorry for me. There's actually a funny story behind why I react this way. You see.. A long time ago, I was one of those guys that used to get depressed when I saw people in relationships. I always thought to myself “I want that..” and so I would crush over girls in school and when I worked up enough courage to tell them I liked them, I got rejected. I was young and naive, but I did get over the girls that “friendzoned” me just because I knew there was nothing there for me as far as romance was concerned. One day, after I got rejected once again, I went home and laid on my bed for 2 hours. The TV was off, the light was dim and I stared at the ceiling thinking to myself about what I should do.


I thought about relationships and why I wanted one. I kept coming up with questions that I didn't really feel that I had good enough answers to like “Why do you want a girlfriend? Are you frightened? Do you feel like you will stay single forever?” The answers I was coming up with started to make me realize that I just wanted what everyone else had and I really didn't have a legitimate answer to any of them. Yes, I was scared that I would stay single and never experience “love” but then I began to chuckle and I realized that I was just being stupid. Again, I was young and naive and I told myself that I wanted to focus on myself as a person and my future. I had a big smile on my face and went out with my friends later on that day.


Over the years, I became less and less interested in relationships. I feel like I buried that part of my heart somewhere deep in myself as if I was burying something on a huge island and forgot where it's at. The thing is, I don't want to look for it. I have been like this for a long time now and each year, a relationship becomes less interesting to me. Now, this doesn't mean I have this negative view of them. I am actually quite happy and understand why people I know are in them and I am very happy for them. To put myself in that type of situation is just irrelevant, because it's been so long and as compared to how I used to be when I would be like “I wish I had that..” it's more like “I am happy for them” and that's pretty much it.


During this time, I feel like I have made the right decision and to this day, I don't regret it. I also started to meet girls that liked me and let me tell you that I get thrown off and get confused by it. I have even asked them why they like me and they tell me and yet, it's something I don't understand. I'm really nothing special and they would be better off with someone else. I'm a waste of time to like, because I can't remember what those feelings are like anymore. I do feel terrible when they tell me and I tell them I'm just not interested in a relationship right now. I know the feeling of being rejected and that is something a lot of us are familiar with. So it's normal for me to feel bad, but I don't have the same feelings as far as liking them is concerned.


Don't get me wrong though, perhaps one day someone will change my mind. I do believe that maybe just maybe, that can happen, but it's a very strong maybe, because of how I am now. It's almost near impossible for me to have romantic feelings for someone else, because I feel like I am damn near a-romantic, but I don't feel I am for one major reason.. I have had a crush during my time like this. The thing is, I've only crushed on like two girls and when I did, that was it. I felt weird, because it would just stay there and my mind couldn't really picture more from it. I know this all seems confusing to people when I tell them, but it's just how I am.


I also started to become smarter and wiser with all of this and began to find out why girls wanted a relationship with me. I was like that rare Pokemon that they wanted and felt was special to them. The other reason makes me even more less interested and that's because they want to get married in the future and have kids. I don't want any of that and when someone would tell me that we share so much in common and all this other stuff, I know that they also want this and they are considering it and I do not want any of that. I am at this point in my life where I have figured out so much about myself and other things I am interested in that, that to me is far more important. I know I sound like I am bashing relationships and romance in general, but I'm not. As I mentioned, I support anyone who wants that, but I'm the person who doesn't want that right now or any time soon.  


This decision I made has really helped me and I am legitimately happy with my life and the path I have chosen. As I mentioned, I don't regret any of this at all. I have been asked if I believe that there is someone out there that can change my mind and I said that perhaps there is, but for that to happen, it would be the equivalent of a miracle. So now you see why my reaction from before was to laugh and as I have told people before, there's no reason to worry or feel bad for me, because it's just the way I am now. When I first stared doing this, I did feel like I was giving up on romance, but I slowly became aware of the main reason and it has nothing to do with me giving up on it. What I wanted was to learn more about everything around me, elevate my mind and mature and that's what happened. To this day, I feel like I am still learning so much and I am thankful for that and to me, in my heart, that has been the ultimate reward as far as giving up what I once felt was important in my life.

  • Listening to: Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence - Ryuichi Sakamoto
  • Reading: This journal
  • Watching: Nothing
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water
I have recently started to notice something about a lot of people nowadays that made me want to write about it. I think we are living in a time where we are starting to miss a lot of what we had in the past. I grew up in an era where smartphones, social media and other forms of technology didn't control our lives. We had more time to do a lot of things such as read, hang with friends without having to look at our phones every few minutes to check if anyone has “liked” our status on Facebook or Instagram. I think there's always pros and cons to the things we had and things we have now, but one thing I really want to talk about in this journal is how the quality of certain things we love has changed.



I want you, the reader, to think about some of the stuff you grew up with and how often you went back to it as compared to new things now. What I mean by this is think about an old movie that you can never get tired of watching and think about how many times you have watched it as compared to the newer movies now. I personally feel that we are living in the wrong time for a bunch of these things. Whenever I would listen to music from the 80s, the 90s and even around the 2000s, I feel like artists had more of a message to send to people that were fans of them. Music itself has gone through a lot of changes, but I also feel like some music I have heard is not what it used to be. I think that it's because of the distractions that artist and bands are getting distracted by and trying to follow trends instead of being poetic and melodic. For example, if I were to listen to a song I really enjoy from a different era, I'm sure I would feel differently than the music right now.



I'm not trying to bash a lot of music that has been released nowadays. I do feel like there are some really good songs and artists that are under-appreciated, but at the same time, there's music that just doesn't touch your soul as some of the music from the past has. One thing that I see artists using a lot of is auto-tune. I don't have a problem with auto-tune, but if the majority of your music has that, I feel like it's insulting to your fans that have been following you and listening to a lot of your music when you don't use it and your regular voice is genuine and really touches someone's heart and soul. The lyrics themselves are also not very creative anymore. It's usually about partying, doing drugs, clubbing and sex. It's not even catchy. I will just hear something like “I went to the club and did a bunch of coke with my friends and now I need to get home before my girlfriend wakes up” Umm.. okay? The worst thing is that some will listen to music like that, it gets played out and then no one wants to listen to it anymore, because it's been played at every party or club that people are ready to move on to the next new song that will have the same theme to it.



When it comes to older music, I can never get tired of it. I would say that music was definitely more creative during the 80s and 90s. Sure, there were artists that did drugs and they were going through a lot, but they would express the way they feel through their music, which would have an effect on people whom were going through something similar and can relate. I listen to a variety of music. I'm not too picky with my music. There's probably a few things you will never find me listening to like dubstep (That music is atrocious and I'm glad it's not as popular as it once was, because there's nothing creative about music that sounds like robots having sex) I sometimes find myself listening to older music or I will find a new artist that is worth listening to, but that's usually rare nowadays, because the music that I have heard on the radio just sounds all the same and like something that will only last for so long before it's forgotten and a new song that is similar becomes popular.


Movies are something we all enjoy watching. Whether it's with family, friends, or both. I hardly go out to watch movies now, because a lot of them don't interest me all that much. I do enjoy seeing special effects and action from time to time, but I sometimes feel like saving my time and money and waiting for it to be out on Netflix or some other streaming device to watch it. Movies are starting to focus more on how they look than how they tell a story. If you don't believe me, go look at whatever movies are coming out and tell me how many of them are using CGI. Just like what I mentioned with artists using too much auto-tune, movies are becoming over saturated with CGI. Again, I understand we live in a different era and it looks cool and what not, but I sometimes wonder how that effects a story to follow and come back to. I can bet you that people are going to remember the special effects looking cool than what the hell was going in a movie. Now then, I want you to watch these two short clips from two different movies I have chosen.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ce2a0w…


www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Lq9NG…


Ask yourself now which one affected you the most and why. There's no right or wrong answer to this question. I believe that everyone has a different reaction to movies and just about anything else and the point I am trying to make is that even though there are creative ways to make movies, does it take away from paying attention to the actual story and characters or make you even want to go back and watch it again and again, because it was so good? I don't mind seeing things that are visual works of art, but what's the point if that's all it has to offer and nothing else? It might as well just be eye candy. I believe that we are all from different eras and perhaps used to certain movies we grew up with and remember. When I watch older movies, I love how creative people were with writing and characters they created. One other thing was the make-up. Just wow! Talk about being creative with making it look like someone just lost a limb or creating a monster with normal clothes and realistic make-up. Nowadays, they will just make some special effects monster as well as CGI models of the characters depending on where the movie takes place. I don't want to sound like CGI is a bad thing. I just feel like it's being over used in just about everything now. This article goes deeper into it if you would like to read more about how CGI is being used way too much now.


www.rocketstock.com/blog/opini…



I saved my favorite one for last and that is video games. How can I not talk about video games? It's something I play all the time and for those of you who know me, know that I am a huge nerd when it comes to video games. In one of my previous journals, I talked about the PS2 era of gaming and I still without a doubt believe that was the best era of gaming to this day. I wanted to further elaborate on why that is. The games that were being created around that time were so unique in the sense that they offered so much with storytelling, graphics, simplicity and the most important one, a lot of them were single-player. Games now are focusing too much on multiplayer, DLC and cinematic scenes. What happened to just having a complete game without having to spend an extra $50 on DLC and had one of the best stories you've ever experienced and a work of art? Just like movies, a lot of games are focusing too much on graphics to show off what they can create, but it's not just that either. A lot of games are starting to follow a trend – that trend happens to be open world. I don't get why EVERYTHING has to become some sort of open world game now. It's like they are trying to make it worth your money, but half of the people that get these games don't even want to do all the extra stuff in it. Grand Theft Auto has always been a good game as far as story is concerned. Ever since GTA 3, the game has let you explore huge cities and do whatever you want. It makes me sad to think what GTA has become now, because when I started to see why people are still playing GTA 5, it's not because of going back to the story.. No.. It's because people want to do the other things in the game and the main one is race. Yes, there's online racing and I have never been a huge fan of racing games, but that's what most gamers do with a game that has so many options that it's slowly lost it's identity of what it once was. If you want to just do online racing, then hey! Who am I to tell you otherwise? I just wish it wasn't this way, because now GTA has become lazier with certain mechanics. Don't get me wrong, both GTA 4 and GTA 5 have their strengths and weaknesses as you are going to see in the videos below.

(You do not have to watch the whole video. It's just to give you an idea)


www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWVtZJ…


[link]


I think that because gamers are treating it like a bunch of different games in one, it has lost a few things that made it so great as compared to how GTA 3 and GTA San Andreas was like. Man, oh man were those games epic! Didn't even have to worry about online bullshit, but just sit there and play a wonderful story and go back to it. I played both GTA 4 and GTA 5's story and Rockstar has always been one of my favorite developers when it comes to making games. They never disappoint with telling a good story and making you want to come back to play their games and that story. Unfortunately, as you watched in the videos, they are starting to lose sight of what made the game so special with certain details that are lacking in the newer games. It's basically them going "Well, let's focus more on the online stuff now and have a few details in our games" Why not strengthen some of it and make it just as enjoyable playing it offline? It doesn't help that games get hyped by so many people and then end up not being all that great. I mentioned before that people had more time to use their imagination to create amazing games back in the day as compared to what we are getting now. This next video also gives an idea to that.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=iN7FjB…


Games are starting to do “too much” and not keep people's interest like they once did. I think that's why so many games do not get replayed or they become disappointments and no one wants to go back to them. You either have too much to do and have already moved on to the next game because you got bored or it didn't pull you deep into it that made you go “Holy crap! I want to play that again!” Just like listening to a classic song or watching a really good movie, there are so many classic games that a lot of us have gone back to and I think at the end of the day, that's what makes them so special and unforgettable. The quality has definitely gone down and I will let this next video speak for itself.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=UUxJpD…


I am a huge Dead Rising fan and I have played all the games. I got Dead Rising 4 as a Christmas present last year and it came with the first Dead Rising for free. I watched this video several times and thought to myself “Wow..” I realized that with playing Dead Rising 4, they made it too open world (Lol..) that they got lazy and didn't want to do more work with the details that made the first one so amazing. I know that Dead Rising 1 came out for Xbox 360 and was an exclusive for the longest time until it was ported over to other consoles and PC. What got to me the most is how a game from 2006 can have so much depth to it and creativity over a game that was made in 2016. Literally ten years later and lacked so much personality. I really love this guy's channel, because his main message to gamers is “Don't follow the hype, save your money and wait things out” He has so many wonderful videos that expose a lot of these developers that think they are creating new and better ideas with games.


Games feel incomplete as compared to back in the day. I remember a time where I would unlock extra modes and secrets by beating the game or meeting certain requirements whereas now, if you want the extra story mode, you have to pay for it and it's not cheap. Some games require you to pay for unlockables, which I think is ridiculous. A very good quote I saw online when I was listening to an older game's soundtrack was “Reminds me of an era when games used to affect your soul, not your wallet" and I couldn't agree more.


I have been playing a lot of older PS2 games lately and it's been making me remember how awesome these games were and why I came back to them. They are true classics and those types of classics can never get old. So why can't more games nowadays be like this? There's a few that got it right that I played such as Resident Evil 7, Nier: Automata, Bloodborne and Dark Souls. RE7 definitely felt like an old school RE game and I played the hell out of it. It has become my new favorite and I haven't had so much fun and gone back to an RE game like this since Resident Evil 4. Nier: Automata had a great story and was a game I spent a lot of time with. It's something I can go back to and it's open world is the right type of open world that should be in many games. It feels huge, but you start to realize that it's not if that makes sense? It's like you're at a fair and everything is familiar to you when you walk by some of the rides and areas and know how to navigate very easily whereas the huge open world games feel like an amusement park where you can get lost and don't know what to do first, because there's so many options. Again, if you're into that kind of thing, then I'm sure you will have fun. Everyone is indeed different after all.


Bloodborne and Dark Souls are adventurous open world games have so much to do yet, it's the right amount. What I really like is that when you reach a certain area, it connects to an area that you were going through and unlock a shortcut kind of like Resident Evil where you would go through an area and a door is locked and when you progress and find a different path that leads to that locked door, you are able to open it and you end up in a familiar area from before and go “Ohh! That door leads here! Sweet! Now I have shortcut!” It's also a challenging game but very rewarding and so damn creative with the weird enemies you encounter.



So dearest reader.. what do you think? I want to make it clear that I'm not trying to trash anyone or anything by writing this. More so to really make you think about why some things now don't have as much creativity as they once did and why it lacks in quality at times. I know I mentioned that there's a bunch of good stuff that comes out now, but sometimes, it's rare to stumble upon something really unique and when there's so many things that are similar. I hope that this journal had some kind of affect on you and perhaps you took something away from it. If you did, then I am more than happy to know it and also hope you enjoyed reading what I wrote. :)

  • Listening to: Main Theme - Max Payne 2 OST
  • Reading: This journal
  • Watching: The Ricky Gervais Show
  • Playing: Nothing
  • Eating: Nothing
  • Drinking: Water
How long has it been since you found me? How long ago was it when I was suffering from harsh wounds and crawling to a safe place away from all the dangers that were happening in my life? That long, huh? Yeah.. sounds about right. I went through so much on this journey that you have helped me get through. Time and time again, I faced hardships. Back then, I wasn't sure what I was doing or even going for that matter. All I know is that things got bad. REALLY bad. So bad that I was getting ready for the worst possible outcome. Getting on my knees and waiting for my own demise. You didn't let that happen. You pulled me away from it all and showed me what I needed to do and how to get to where I wanted to go. It was never easy though. I have fallen off the horse multiple times and got back on it thanks to you. Over these last few years, I have changed and so have you. In so many ways that I couldn't even imagine from back then. I am forever in your debt. Now's the time to finally finish what was started. I can't thank you enough for always being that reminder to me with everything that you surrounded me with. That ultimately changed so much in and brought me back to life with determination, hope and happiness. I extinguished a lot of inner demons and dealt with many hardships during that time until now. You tested me several times and each time you did, I came out victorious. No more fear... no more running away.. no more being unsure of the unknown. Even though I will start a new journey in the not so distant future, I can happily say that this one that I have been on for a long time is finally coming to it's end. This is my journey's end..

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EAZYE925
Zombie Slayer Extraordinaire
I love zombies, anime/manga, Batman, Megaman, Spider-Man and a whole bunch of nerdy stuff. I am constantly thinking about zombie apocalypses and killing zombies in any video game that has zombies in it. I don't draw (because I never truly learned and when I tried to, I thought it was okay) but I do like seeing different styles of art and I am a collector and a writer. I express myself through lots of writing (You will see them in the journal sections) and enjoy it very much. I of course love coming on here to favorite many artworks. So, if I ever favorite something that you did, it's because you either have a great imagination, you're a great drawer and know what colors to choose from to make your art come alive, you created something unique that spoke to me or all of the above. =)
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:iconpajunen:
Pajunen Featured By Owner 3 days ago
Thanks for the :+fav:
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:iconeazye925:
EAZYE925 Featured By Owner 3 days ago
You're very welcome! Very nice shots!
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Pajunen Featured By Owner 3 days ago
:bow:
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blenqui Featured By Owner 5 days ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the fav!:) (Smile) Heart 
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EAZYE925 Featured By Owner 5 days ago
You're very welcome! Very creative and colorful work you have! :)
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Spiritofdarkness Featured By Owner May 4, 2018
Waving emote  thank you very much for the +fav  Wheee
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EAZYE925 Featured By Owner May 5, 2018
Always, friend! :)
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Spiritofdarkness Featured By Owner May 5, 2018
:)
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:iconeazye925:
EAZYE925 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2018
You're always welcome! :)
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